Cthulhu Radio: Driving People Mad In Stereo

Here are some more songs dedicated to the great Elder Evil, Cthulhu!  You can find more at the Cthulhu Hymnal!

Give Me That Old Time Religion

We’ll bow down to Great Cthulu
He’s cold, and mean, and cruel, too
He doesn’t want to rule you
He just wants your soul

To the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song

We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy,
You humans are delishy and we’re feasting on your brains!

We’re abysmal creatures, with gross horrific features –
Against Cthulhoid cult preachers the good guys go insane!

So here’s Miskatonic U where all the creatures dwell.
Take a look at a mythos book and find yourself in hell!

Your guns aren’t defective – they just aren’tective.
Our feast of human flesh and souls is tasting swell!

Your magic and voodoo will not stop great Cthulhu;
Don’t eat with the Tchoo Tchoo; the Migo steal your brain!

Here’s Narly, Tsathoggua, and over there’s Cthuga.
Don’t forget Ithaqqua, and Hastur hates his name!

So here’s dread R’lyeh where the angles a wrong.
You’ll lose your soul and go insane if you stay here too long!

We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy.
Our feast of human flesh and souls is gonna start!

And now we’ll eat your heart.

Mi-Go

To the tune of “Mammal” by They Might be Giants (used w/o permission, of course…) lyrics by Bill Keyes.

Chitin shell,
Standing in between extinction in the cold
And explosive radiating growth.
So the ichor flows
Through the large membrainous wings.
Carrying the very strange brain-cylinders that they have.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go (Mi-Go, Mi-Go)
Their nlaw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.

One of us might lose his mind,
When he’s reminded that they once were here,
From the Mezozoic era, to the cold high Himalayas.
So the ichor flows
Through the large membrainous wings.
Speaking in the very strange high pitched insect buzzing noise.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go
Their names are called,claw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.

Azothoth the father of its sister Shub-Niggurath.
Their cousin called Yog-Sothoth,
Sleeping uncle Great Cthulhu.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go
Their names are called,
They raise a claw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.
The Ghast, the ghoul,
Deep One, and Dhole,
Byakhee, Elder Thing.

LIKE AZATHOTH

To the tune of “like a virgin”.

I made it through the Hounds
Somehow I made it through
Way out from Tindalos
Until the Act was one

I was lost, and alone
I was deaf, neither could I see
And it made me grow
Yes it made me grow
Exponentially

CHORUS:
Like Azathoth
Here since the very First Time
Like Azathoth
Overboiling, dumb and blind

Gonna crush all
From the Universe’s center
A Nuclear Chaos broadcast

You’re so fine, and you’re mine
Since the Beginning of the Time
Oh, your organs sprout out
Yes, your organs sprout out
‘Cause my gravity’s so high

CHORUS

You’re so fine, and you’re mine
I am the Sultan of Demons
And you make me feel
Yeah you make me feel
Nothing at all

CHORUS

Like Azathoth, ooh, ooh
Like Azathoth
Feels so good inside
When they’re piping, and they’re yelling, and we’re shaking

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
Can’t you feel my mass pulse
Since the very First Time

To the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies

Well, let me tell you a little story ’bout a migo named ‘Fred’.
A poor mountain miner, barely kept his fungi fed.
And then one day when he was scooping out a brain…
Along came an ooze that popped right out of the drain.
Shoggoth that is, Elder Thing goo, R’lyeh tea.
Well next thing you know ‘ole Fred got swallowed whole,
the other migo turned and said “That thing just got Fred’s soul!”
They all pulled out their shiny guns and aimed it at the slime..
But the shoggoth ate them one and all in record setting time..

Sung to the tune of Camptown Races
Who’s the Elder God we fear?
Cthulhu, Cthulhu!
Who sleeps on from year to year?
Cthulhu is his name.
Going to pray all night
Going to chant all day
‘Til he rises from the ocean floor
Then we will run away!

To the tune of “Octopus’ Garden” (The Beatles)

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
H know where we’d been
in his big Cthulhu garden in a cave.
I’d hate my friends to come and see big ol’
Cthulhu’s garden with me.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
He’d keep us whole, just eat our soul
in his monstrous hideaway beneath the waves.
Keeping us loose, hanged in a noose
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
We would scream and shout out loud,
’cause we know we’ll never be found.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
We would shout and flounder about
the tentacles beneath the ocean waves.
Oh what fear for every little dear,
knowing their minds are gone away.
We would be there to tell us what to do.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden with you.

To the tune of “Cecilia” (Simon & Garfunkel)

CHORUS:
Cthulhu, you’re breaking my mind.
My sanity’s vanishing daily!
Oh, Cthulhu, I’m down on my knees
I’m begging you, please — go away,
Go away!

I picked up this ancient book
By some guy named Abdul Al-Haz’red (Al-Haz’red)
Read two chapters; now it seems
You’re disturbing my days and you’re haunting my dreams.

CHORUS

Half-awake in the early morn
With my lover sleeping by my side (by my side)
When I feel a nameless dread
And I turn on the light, I find g out in the afternoon
In a room at Miskatonic U (hiding out)
Elder Signs from ceiling to floor,
And there’s star-stones to block off the windows and door.

Consternation! He’s found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver.
Consternation! He’s found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver…..

Kevin Ingle – Anything I say will be denied.
Learn the chants.

Don’t Go That Way

To the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart” (Billy Ray Cyrus)

It started with a look
In an old and dusty book
Of things we were not really meant to know.
And now I’m running scared
From dread beyond compare
And an invite for being dinner at Tcho Tcho’s!

This house is awf’ly dark
Let’s go back up to the park
But perhaps that isn’t such a good path
The last time I was there,
Do you remember Blair?
He was carried off by Shub-Niggurath!

CHORUS:
Don’t go that way,
I’d rather have you stay
With me in this terrifying dream
But if you go that way
I’ll go the other way
And listen for your distant awful screams, aaaaauugh!

Off tin’ with Voodoo
But I don’t like the sound of that grim song.
Don’t pull out your big gun
I’d really rather run
From people calling evil Chaugnar Faugn.

And now they’re playin’ games
Like ping pong with my brains
Please believe me it’s the truth I’m telling you!
For deep beneath the sea,
In slime and sawing “zees”
Is a huge and ugly Great Cthulhu.

CHORUS:
Don’t go that way
I’d rather have you stay
With me in this terrifying dream
Bgo the other way
And listen for your distant awful screams, aaaaaaugh!

Don’t go that way
How much should I pay
For you not to go down that deep hole
‘Cause I don’t have a rope
And there isn’t that much hope
If you wind up annoying a big dhole, eeeeeeeww!

Don’t go that way
You really ought to stay,
Your safer here of that fact I am sure
But if we decide to stay,
Be careful not to say
The name of the unnamed one called Hastur…

oops.

Your Grey-Tinted ’20s Mind

To the tune of “Green-Tinted ’60s Mind” from Mr. Big’s second album.

It just woke up but its still dead,
Is that the cultists still chanting?
It rips off all of their heads,
Its reachin’ into your dreams,
Down in your heart,
If you say his name,
He’ll tear you all apart.

CHORUS 1:
Professors are screwy
In a 20’s movie
Read the wrong book and die,
Insane legend baby
Try your very best to hide,
Your grey-tinted 20’s mind.

They keep Cthulhu locked away,
But he is always escaping,
But that won’t make him fade away,
He’s reaching into your dreams,
Down in your heart,
If you see him,
It’ll tear your mind apart,

CHORUS 2:
Gotta face R’lyeh,
There is no other way (to),
Get the thoughts out of your mind,
Fill it up with screams,
That’s all that you could seem,
To find….
Your grey-tinted 20’s mind,

(solo)

CHORUS 3:
Hangin’ out with Pickman,
Drawin’ scary stickmen,
Could have escaped if you tried,
Where’s your `loyal’ horse?
Sacrificed of course,
Tonight!
Your grey-tinted 20’s mind.

Listening to: Nine Inch Nails – Broken – Last

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