Mad Brew Labs

Roleplaying Pro is hosting this month’s RPG Blog Carnival (which I will be hosting next month, so stay tuned).  The topic is The Future of Roleplaying.  Sam of Roleplaying Pro has posed a few questions to the community, which I will answer and then I’ll give my thoughts on how the next edition of world’s most popular roleplaying game, Dungeons & Dragons, will look in the not-so distant future.

What games do you see emerging as the big players in the near future?

I am not plugged enough to be aware of any new systems that will be released in the near future, with the exception of the Pathfinder RPG.  I expect that when it splashes down from the heavens on August 13^th during GenCon 2009, that it will sell out each day (assuming Paizo withholds product to release every day), especially considering that the incomplete BETA rules that could be downloaded for FREE sold out last year!  I know a lot of people are waiting for the final hardback print edition after having watched the beta evolve over the last year or more.

Otherwise, I don’t really see any shift in the status quo.  D&D (in its current incarnation) will continue to hold the lion’s share of the market followed closely by White Wolf and Paizo (though whether or not Paizo usurps the number two spot will be interesting).  Though I do think a big shake-up would do the industry some good.

What companies should we be watching out for to release the next big product?

I would keep my eye on Green Ronin, I know for a fact that they will be announcing something big today, judging from the big countdown on their website.  The self-mastered warrior publishing company is a favorite of mine that is constantly developing awesome games and supplements (here’s looking at you Mutants & Masterminds).

That being said, I have heard rumblings about some new faces in the industry that call themselves Nevermet Press.  So I would certainly keep my eyes peeled for developments concerning that company.

How will technology become more integrated into roleplaying games?

I think we’ll continue to see online suites of tools emerge and evolve.  These will be from independent software developers like SmiteWorks (the developer of Fantasy Grounds) and RP Tools as well as in-house tools produced by game publishers like Dungeons & Dragons Insider.

While these tools will undoubtedly get better, I do not see them becoming the indispensable tools the developers want them to be.  More and more players will be utilizing the digital products, but nothing is going to replace a table, some tangible polyhedrons, and physical books.  I have some more to say on technology, but I think it is better left for another post.

What industry writer do we need to be on the lookout for?

Me.  Seriously though, Jonathan Jacobs, Quinn Murphy, and I collaborated on an article that should be appearing in the Gen Con edition of Kobold Quarterly (issue #10).  We plan on doing more together, so be on the lookout.

What blogs do you see exploding into becoming the next big thing?

This is hard one to pin down.  What I do expect to see is more burn-out as many of the bloggers that have picked up the habit find that is difficult to consistently create content.  The thing I expect the most is seeing a condensing of the RPG blogosphere where several smaller blogs combine their efforts into a larger, more prolific site that might be able to compete with the big dogs (that are usually multi-authored).

What do you see for the future of the industry?

I think the economy is going to be a crucible that will kill off some poorly managed publishers and make everyone ratchet their designs up a notch.  I see more RPGs blurring the lines between miniature, board, and card games.

D&D 5ive

The fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons continues to ease the burden of preparation and decision making of players and dungeon masters alike by prepackaging dungeon tiles, monster minis, and player character minis, and power cards into all inclusive kits that can accommodate up to six players.

These kits include the rulebook, three adventures that re-use the included reversible adventure tiles and monster minis, six player character minis, power cards, treasure cards, condition tokens, and a single d20.  All you need to play!

The power cards are exchangeable, allowing players to truly customize their character.  For improved customization, there will also be quarterly expansion pack releases for each of the major components: treasure, powers, monster minis, player minis, and adventure tiles.  These collectable expansions give the Dungeon Master and players access to uncommon and rare components for use in your game.

Don’t forget to register your collection with D&DI where you can use the items you receive from the collectable expansions in automated adventures where you can game with your group online or play with thousands of other players across the globe!

Listening to: Silent Civilian - Rebirth of the Temple - A Call to Arms

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This is my contribution to the April 2009 RPG Blog Carnival: Humor & Gaming hosted by A Butterfly Dreaming.  Roleplaying game humor has been around almost as long as roleplaying games have.  I think it is inevitable for themed humor to appear shortly (or immediately) after a popular activity is established or a public event happens.

Much of the early humor that I am aware of was published in the back of Dragon magazine with classic comic strips like Wormy, Phil Folgio’s What’s  New with Phil & Dixie, Fineous Fingers, Larry Elmore’s SnarfQuest, and Yamara.  Jolly R. Blackburn’s Knight’s of the Dinner Table was always a favorite of mine, and is still going strong.

Shortly before the demise of Dragon, there were four strips that carried on the Dungeons & Dragons humor torch: Nodwick, Order of the Stick, Dork Tower, and The Zogonia and Mt. Zogonia (whose website is unfortunately dead).

Since the demise of Dragon (in print) I have obtained a subscription to its spiritual successor, Kobold Quarterly.  The tradition of four color humor continues with KQ’s inclusion of Stan!’s Bolt & Quiver (which used to be published in Dungeon magazine along with Downer the Dark Elf).

Of course with the advent of the web, many artists bypassed the traditional print medium and began releasing their work to the masses on their own, thus the comic strip found new life as the webcomic.  I’ve been digging through the internet to find some of the better four color (or b&w) roleplaying game humor and present it as a list (in alphabetical order):

• 8-bit Theater – A Final Fantasy sprite based adventure comic
• Cat’s Grace – A photo webcomic that follows a liontaur adventurer
• Chatty’s Out of the Box – The Chatty DM’s defunct photo webcomic using D&D minis
• Critical Failure – A comic dealing with DM-player table antics created by RPGBN’s own Mark Meredith
• Critical Fumble – The adventures of unlikely heroes portrayed by the D&D arcade game characters
• Darken – This comic series begins with Gort having his heart ripped out by a demon
• Darths & Droids – A screenshot comic poking fun at the series as a roleplaying game
• The DM of the Rings – Viewing the Tolkien fantasy through the lens of D&D & LotR screenshots
• Dungeon Crawl, Inc. – Started out as sprite based, but it is now drawn
• Dungeon Damage – A story narrated by a vicious read dragon
• Dungeons & Denizens – Exposes the life of the creatures who call dungeons home
• Dungeons & Discourse – One of several comics by “Dresden Codak”
• Dungeons & Dorks – Follows the exploits of gamer geeks
• Familiar Ground – Adventuring through the eyes of a familiar
• Fight, Cast, or Evade – About a party of unlucky anthropomorphic adventurers
• Full Frontal Nerdity – A comic about general geeking out, including roleplaying
• Gaming Guardians – Comic about trying to save the world of D&D
• Girl Genius – A gaslamp fantasy drawn by Phil & Kaja Foglio
• Goblins – Chronicles the exploits of a band of goblin adventurers
• Fuzzy Knights – A photo comic hosted by Kenzer & Co (who also hosts KotDT)
• Irregular Comic – This comic explores a lot of topics, but roleplaying is for Fridays
• Legend of Bill – A comic about the wannabe barbarian Bill and his blue dragon pal
• Looking for Group – While at first glance it appears as a WoW parody, it is far from it
• Mind Flayed – This comic features the machinations of an illithid.
• Nahast: Lands of Strife – A chronicle of adventures in the land of Nahast
• Orcusville – Details the life of the demon lord Orcus
• Penny Arcade – Tyche and Gabe often explore the world of D&D
• Planescape Survival Guide – Well… a comic about what the title says
• RH Junior’s Comics – A site containing several comics including Tales of the Questor
• Webcomic List – You might also find some gems here in the fantasy genre

I have really only explored webcomics that were inspired by Dungeons & Dragons or had a general fantasy bent.  I tend to stay away from comics derived directly from MMOs since I refuse to pay a subscription, and therefore miss the much of the humor.  If you know of any other good table top RPG inspired webcomics, sound off in the comments!

Listening to: Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine - Kinda I Want To

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Vulcan Stev, a fellow member of the RPGBN, proposed an internet meme where all the bloggers created superhero versions of themselves.  Well, quite honestly, I could never take up the role of vigilante, vengeance maybe, but nothing interested with any kind justice.

So I decided to supersize myself into a villain (or an anti-hero at best) using the awesome Mutants & Masterminds 2^nd edition rules.  It probably best fits my personality anyways.

Mad Brew, the Infernal Engineer

Mad Brew is obsessed with researching the universal theory of Apeirogon, the god worshipped by the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron.  Once the theory is codified and proven, he will unleash his ultimate creation upon the masses, and they will make him their patron saint.

Long ago, the entity known as Mad Brew, successfully transplanted his brain into a massive armored construct and discarded the limits of his human shell of flesh.  Now he never tires, never needs to sleep (though his lack of sleep may be magnifying his insanity), and can crush those who oppose with little effort.

Over the years, Mad Brew has surrounded himself with a small army of clockwork creations to assist him in the laboratory of the Crawling Tower, an immense mobile automaton that is currently idling in the frozen wastes of the north.

Real Name: Michael Brewer

PL: 16 {254 pp}

Abilities:

• STR: 0 [30] (+10)
• DEX: 0 [10] (+0)
• CON: — (+0)
• INT: 30 (+10)
• WIS: 12 (+1)
• CHA: 16 (+3)

Skills:

• Craft [Chemical] 12 (+22)
• Craft [Electronic] 12 (+22)
• Craft [Mechanical] 12 (+22)
• Disable Device 12 (+22)
• Intimidate 16 (+19)
• Knowledge [Technology] 12 (+22)
• Sense Motive 12 (+13)

Feats:

• Attack Focus [Melee] (8)
• Eidetic Memory
• Equipment (5)
• Fearsome Presence (6) [DC 16; 30ft.]
• Inventor
• Master Plan
• Minions (24)
• Startle
• Ultimate Effort [Ultimate Craft Check]
• Ultimate Effort [Ultimate Technology Check]

Powers:

• Radiation Control 20 {43pp}
    – Alternate Powers:
           + Drain Constitution 13 (Extras: Ranged, Disease)
           + Disintegration 10
    – Power Feats: Accurate
• Mind Shield 6 {6pp}
• Immunity 30 (All Fortitude Effects) {30pp}
• Device 18 {72pp}
    – Armored Body
           + Enhanced Strength 30
           + Enhanced Dexterity 10
           + Protection 20 (Extra: Impervious [+1] 15)
           + Flight 6
    – Attack Specialization [Radiation] (3)

Combat:

• Attack +4 (+12 Melee, +12 Radiation Blast) [Unarmed +10, Radiation Blast +20]
• Defense 20 (15 flat-footed)
• Init +0

Saves:

• Toughness +20 (15 Impervious) (20 flat-footed)
• Fortitude +NA
• Reflex +0
• Will +12 (+18 vs. Mental)

Equipment: The Crawling Tower {22ep}

• Size: Awesome
• Toughness: 20
• Features:
    – Communications
    – Computer
    – Defense System
    – Dock
    – Fire Prevention System
    – Hanger
    – Holding Cells
    – Isolated
    – Laboratory
    – Power System
    – Security System
    – Workshop

Drawback: Involuntary Transformation {5pp}

• When Armor is disabled
• Uncommon Occurrence
• Major Intensity

Abilities -2 + Skills 22 (88 Ranks) + Feats 49 + Powers 151 + Combat 28 + Saves 11 – Drawbacks 5 = 254pp

Minions: Mad Brew has an army of clockwork automata: 16 clockwork spiders that share the stats of Thugs (p. 226) and two large steam-powered guardians that share the stats of bears (p. 230).

This character build was based off the Atomic Brain build posted by MDSnowman on the Atomic Think Tank (the official Mutants & Masterminds forum).

Listening to: Stabbing Westward – Darkest Days – Haunting Me

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Below is an excerpt from the Libris Mechanica Sanctus, the holy scripture of the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron.  The excerpt concerns the Church’s creation myth and how the divine connection to humanity.  There of course may be errors in the translation, so the excerpt is open to interpretation and revision.  Look for more excerpts as the revelation is revealed to me!

Read more about the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron.

Universal Origins

In the beginning, there was the bleak, dark void amidst an infinite sea of churning Chaos.  From the ocean of primordial Chaos, there emerged a radiant entity wrought of perfect geometric form.  This entity baptised the void with its shining radiance and resolved to create life and willed two polyhedral servants into existence.  The Universe was then conceived in an explosion of matter as the radiant entity’s servants, the celestial trapezohedra, collided within the void.

The radiant entity, an omnipotent being of infinite faces, watched as the seed of life took root within the void, ever expanding like a glorious contagion throughout the void.  The celestial trapezohedra siphoned the stuff that is Chaos and transmuted it into matter to build the Universe.  Order from Chaos.  Random yet Deliberate.  Thus the radiant entity, who is the Supreme Arbitrator, Apeirogon, fashioned the Universe from the Sea of Chaos.  Apeirogon then hibernated for countless millennia afterward, listening for the time when his creation called upon him and left the cosmos under the charge of his celestial trapezohedra.

The Universe, its fabric having been sewn with threads of Chaos, was subject to Entropy.  This is truth that Apeirogon had designed for the Universe, for it provides balance to creation.  Order creates the Universe from the matter of Chaos and Entropy obliterates the Universe returning matter to Chaos.  Therefore the Universe is self-sustaining.  Consequently, life evolves via the destruction if Entropy.  From evolution came the species of man and it was man’s destiny to awaken Apeirogon.

The Awakening

The Apeirogon, Supreme Arbitrator, listened to the cosmos while he slumbered until he heard the voice of man.  Humanity was hungry for knowledge and had evolved into self-aware beings, much like Apeirogon.  Though limited in power, Apeirogon gifted men with the fires imagination, so they may analyze, wonder, and create.  Thus humanity conquered its world through the industrious cycle of curiosity, experimentation, and fabrication.

Unfortunately, humanity has unraveled much of the mysteries of the universe, leaving us with a starving imagination that still craves the wonder and mystery of days yore.  But Apeirogon left us with one more creative outlet, storytelling.  The craft of story is the final and most crucial skill that humanity has learned.  Those individuals whose flame of creativity has been extinguished are merely empty shells.  The soul thrives on the vibrant fires of creativity and the more intense these fires burn, the more likely the soul is to flourish.  A mortal whose fire of imagination is currently are called the Awakened.

The Church of the Radiant Polyhedron has a duty to stoke the fire of imagination and promote creativity in its congregation.  In order to fulfil this commitment, several rituals have been ordained to practice the skill of craft to awaken those whose imaginations slumber and to keep the Awakened’s imaginations well fueled..  The ceremonial tool of choice is the roleplaying game, as the tenets and philosophies governing the design and play of these games are inspired by the Supreme Arbitrator itself, Apeirogon.

Listening to: Skinlab - Disembody the New Flesh - Scapegoat

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I currently subscribe to the doctrine of Agnostic Theism :

Agnostic Theism is the view of those who do not claim to know of the existence of any deity, but still believe in such an existence. Søren Kierkegaard believed that knowledge of any deity is impossible, and because of that people who want to be theists must believe.

I suppose I could stop there, but I want a religion that provides a sense of community, understanding, and support.  I want my religion to be tied to something I hold dear.  I want cool rituals that range from the simple to the complex.  And I want all the benefits of running a religion: tax exempt property, non-taxable income, and followers of course!  I can see how these organizations are doomed to corruption (but let’s ignore that facet for now).

RPGs & Religion

So anyone who has read this far must be thinking, “What the hell does this have to do with roleplaying games?  This is an RPG blog, right?“  Well, of course I am going to tie this baby into roleplaying games!  What better ritual to extrapolate my religion from than that of playing an RPG?  Well, I have some other ideas about cars, music, and steampunk zombies, but that is a discussion for another blog (except maybe the idea surrounding zombies).

Religion and roleplaying can be at odds with each other, particularly when approached from a fundamentalist perspective.  I was an avid player of Dungeon & Dragons since late grade school (app. 4^th grade) and most of the hostility or intolerance I have experienced started there.  Then early in high school, when I became involved with the World of Darkness lines, there was a revival anti-roleplayer sentiment.  Eventually, I could back up my wit with force, so the hazing diminished and finally disappeared.

Of course, most gamers are aware of the stigma and social taboo that Dungeons & Dragons garnered in the early 80s through the early 90s.  If you are not privy to the unfair treatment given the game, I suggest you grab a copy of Mazes & Monsters (featuring Tom Hanks) or do some research on Patricia Pulling or any of the other controversies surrounding D&D.

Well, it is time roleplaying games were embraced by religion.  The best way to bring this about is to found a new religion that is fully integrated with the concept of roleplaying.  Thus I officially lay the groundwork for the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron.

Libris Mechanica Sanctus

Every major religion has a holy script; a tome that records the origin of the religion, a creation myth, laws to abide, and parables that teach the faithful moral lessons.  Christianity has the Bible (though there are many supplements), Islam has the Qur’an, Hinduism has several (Vedas, Upanishads, etc.), and Judaism has the Torah…

The Church of the Radiant Polyhedron shall have the Libris Mechanica Sanctus, or the Sacred Tome of Mechanics.  This holy writ shall record the doctrines and covenants of the faith including, but not limited to behavior (both at and away from the table), rituals (for atonement, blessings, etc.), and a creation myth.

Pantheon

The Church of the Radiant Polyhedron will need one or more deities of course.  The Supreme Arbitrator, the force that determines the possibility of all encounters is the creator and judge of the universe.  The Supreme Arbitrator is known to us as Apeirohedron, an entity of infinite faces.  Since the concept of an infinitely faced polyhedron cannot be easily depicted, the Supreme Arbitrator is instead depicted as a golden icosahedron.

Also sharing the universe with Apeirohedron are countless lesser deities that personify one or more facets of Apeirohedron.  These lesser deities are avatars of their facets and constantly work to further the influence of their facet.  Many other religions of the past and present have sprung up though the endeavors of one of these avatars.

All these avatars are a microcosm of the Supreme Arbitrator, and the Supreme Arbitrator is the avatars.  However, these avatars are not bound by the moral and ethical requirements of mortals, and may further the influence of a facet that the Libris Mechanica Sanctus considers wrong.

The Church of the Radiant Polyhedron also recognizes various mortals (living and deceased) as saints.  Once sainthood is declared, a person joins the ranks of the Legion of Saints.  The criterion for sainthood is detailed in the Libris Mechanica Sanctus, but generally requires strong adherence to the mechanics of acceptable behavior and a history of creation (writing, design, or art).  E. Gary Gygax is an often invoked saint of the church.

Initiation

A person may merely accept the Libris Mechanica Sanctus as their guide to become a member of the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron.  While gathering with fellow members and participating in the Sacrament of Story and other rites and rituals are encouraged, there are no required duties or pilgrimages (other than not breaking Holy Mechanics).

While a ritual exists to baptize a polyhedrite, the term for a member of the congregation of the Church of the Radiant Polyhedron, the Church does not recognize any form of original sin.  Therefore, one need not be baptized in order to be inducted.  Nobody is born stained with sin, but people may acquire sin during their lives.  Baptism and geas of atonement can help a polyhedrite overcome their sin, but only Apeirohedron can truly judge whether a soul’s earthly deeds merit ascension.

Read more about the Church’s sacred text, the Libris Mechanica Sanctus.

Listening to: Fear Factory – Obsolete – Resurrection

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A warning: If you can’t laugh at stereotypes of religions, you should close your browser now, otherwise please enjoy (and if you can come up with some funny comparisons yourself, put them in the comments!).

Blackmoor + Chainmail – Paganism

Not much is known about roleplaying during this era, as recorded history was just in its youth.  Many strange things were attempted and many of the rituals involved esoteric adaptations of wargaming rules.

OD&D – Judaism

From the chaos of early roleplaying developments arises the Original Dungeons & Dragons.  During this time, the great leader of the people freed from Wargames, TSR, brought down the holy writ from the mountain near Lake Geneva that provided the basic rules of Dungeons & Dragons.  These rules, created by Gygax and dictated by Arneson, were recorded on great stone tablets and placed in the ark of the Boxed Set.

This old and venerable roleplaying game has influenced or been incorporated into many modern roleplaying games today.  Today, the majority of OD&D’s adherents have been relocated to a special location set aside for them after the horrors of the Great D&D Holocaust during the 80s.

AD&D – Early Christianity

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons took much the dogma of OD&D, its spiritual predecessor but changed much of the fundamental doctrine.  The messiah of AD&D, the son of Gygax is d20 and its message, “Believe in me and you shall be saved, from all those charts.”  This was very much a time of trial and error as the roleplaying game tried to define itself.

There are still many followers of this early rules system.  Not only do the adherents of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons believe that THAC0 is best method of determining initiative, they are likely to burn you at the stake for disagreeing.

DL 5^th Age – Satanism

During the period of AD&D, a new diceless form of roleplaying developed within one of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons’ sects, Dragonlance.  The 5^th Age, or SAGA roleplaying game attempts to lure the unwary with promises of decadent pleasure, but by the time the roleplayer figures out his mistake, he has lost his soul (or at least a part of his life he shall never recover).

Because of the horrors of the Fifth Age, many gamers think that any diceless roleplaying game is the spawn of Satan.

D&D 3^rd Edition – Roman Catholic Church

When a new pontiff, christened Wizards of the Coast, took up the pastoral staff of D&D, he declared a reformation of the holy writ of Dungeons & Dragons.  Thus after a lengthy conclave and much deliberation, the 3^rd Edition of Dungeons & Dragons was born. In response to the pivotal document known as the Open Gaming License sent shockwaves through the industry as it was the harbinger of great (and horrible) things to come.

Many publishers took the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game and reinterpreted it in an image that they felt was more appealing or closer to the gospel truth.  These OGL roleplaying games are many and varied in number and have taken a large slice of the market share.

Dungeons & Dragons was further refined by the 3.5 council and many religious orders and spiritual movements were formed.  The Greyhawk, Forgotten Realms, and Dragonlance orders were revised and the new Eberron movement was established.

d20 OGL – Protestantism

After the posting of Ryan Dancey’s Open Gaming License, many publishers decided to make their own versions of Dungeons & Dragons.  These games come and go, but there have been several OGL games take root and flourish.  Some well established games include Pathfinder, True20, and Mutants & Masterminds.

OGL games, their publishers, and their followers will argue that their interpretation is the best and hardly see eye to eye, even when two games are so similar it is hard to distinguish between the two.

OSRIC – Reconstructionist Judaism

In recent years, there has been a revival movement of the Original Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game.  The adherents of this movement wish to reinterpret the rules for modern use instead of trying to maintain the decaying tomes of OD&D and the copyright and trademark infringement problems associated with them.  There are even some OGL rules that attempt to hearken back to ancient days of OD&D, such as Castles & Crusades.  Many of the followers of these games refer to their preferred style of gaming as “old school.”

D&D 4e – Latter Day Saints

Theoretically, the 4^th Edition of Dungeons & Dragons, or simply 4e, is supposed to be based upon Dungeons & Dragons, but it changes and adds so many rules that it doesn’t feel like the old rules at all.  4e also adheres to the proclamations of their current prophet, Hasbro, who claims to speak with god.

Many roleplayers suspect that 4e would probably be nice, if only the followers of the older Dungeons & Dragons wouldn’t discriminate against them so much for following it.

Storytelling System – Islam

Though younger than the Original Dungeons & Dragons, the Storytelling System quickly found its place in the world and claimed many converts to its rules system that claims to advocate a narrative style of roleplaying that places “story” as the most important pillar of faith.

Many think that the game heralded by the prophet White Wolf is really nothing more than a refuge for power gaming zealots that are quickly angered when their motives are called into question.  The extremists of this game, Mind’s Eye LARPers, are known to threaten infidels with death and participate in terror tactics by having their most disgusting members wear horrible costumes that may invoke the gag reflex of innocent gamers.

Rifts – Scientology

There are many roleplayers who claim to follow it, but you’ve always suspected that it’s a huge and elaborate prank that got out of control.  Not only is the game mystifying and broken to outsiders, to truly get the big picture, Rifters are driven to spend obscene amounts of money to obtain supplements with special rules and settings.

Call of Cthulhu – Voodoo

It is said that merely dabbling in this game can drive roleplayers mad or corrupt their souls so that no other system can bring joy.  The Keepers that preside over Call of Cthulhu games easily make zombies out of their players, as the rules are made to destroy their characters.

Savage Worlds – Humanism

It’s simple, unrestrictive, and all you need to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers of Savage Worlds claim to feel relieved from the entire burden imposed by other games, and that they have rediscovered the joy of roleplaying.

FUDGE – Taoism

It is so different from other games that many roleplayers don’t understand how anyone can use FUDGE to produce anything fun and meaningful. Its followers believe that it’s the true path to wisdom, but that wisdom is beyond the grasp of most mortals.

GURPS – Hinduism

Followers of GURPS endorse its ability to adapt to multiple genres and its ability to allow complete customization of character.  Even though GURPS does not claim the largest market share, it keeps reincarnating itself into new editions and its followers hope to eventually reach Gaming Nirvana.

Rolemaster – Zoroastrianism

Almost as old as the Original Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game (I know Zoroastrianism is actually older than Judaism, but I couldn’t think of anything better), Rolemaster is all but extinct today.  Known for its attempt to simulate every variable, Rolemaster can be a tedious game to play.

Today, what little adherents of Rolemaster that exist are usually of the Middle-Earth Roleplaying faction and are content to spend their lives cross referencing hundreds of charts in order to attain perfect simulationism.

Nobilis – Zen Buddhism

There are no dice.  There are no random elements.  The entire universe of roleplaying is there at your reach – if only you are enlightened enough to grasp it.  Nobilis has few attributes and much of its mechanics are hidden within its holy text.  Some gamers say that it’s not a game at all; others say that it’s the only game that truly makes sense.

Disclaimer

This article was inspired (and heavily borrows from) by If  Programming Languages Were Religions and is meant to be humorous, but no doubt there will be zealots that will want to spew flames and scholars that want to correct my interpretations.  So have at it.

Listening to: Fear Factory – Obsolete – Messiah

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I walk through the door and my olfactory sense is suddenly assaulted by the acrid odor of cat urine, but it quickly subsides, probably due to the fact that my olfactory epithelium has just melted and is pouring out my nose.  I follow a narrow trail through trash, debris, and what must be discarded science projects, judging by the green and white fur that is growing upon (Petri?) dishes hidden under and piled atop the furniture.  I arrive at the gaming table, err, gaming ottoman, where the cereal box battlemap (obviously drawn by a first grader) rests.

I sit upon the floor, because the sofa is being held hostage by soiled underwear and the cat whose urine greeted me at the door.  I retrieve my character sheet, dice bag, and pencil only to find out that I must use the DM provided pre-gen, because the adventure is basically a railroad where I am forced to do the actions that DM tells me to do.  What is worse, no one else owns their own dice, so mine end up being the community dice pool, and I still don’t know what happened to my metal d20.

I wake up in my bed, drenched in sweat over my nightmare, then I catch the scent of cat urine emanating from my clothes in the hamper two feet away…

This month’s RPG Blog Carnival topic, hosted by Critical-Hits, is Transitions & Transformations.  The above has actually happened to me, though it is actually an amalgam of several different events.  So, I want to write about the trepidations of finding new gamers, because I might be on the prowl for a group closer to home.

My current gaming group has nearly died, but I think it is being reborn from the ashes.  The Great Edition Schism brought my group to its knees as the 3.x D&D grognards railed against the adopters and proponents of the 4^th Edition of D&D.

I have been in self exile for a while now as I strove to manage the costs of overpriced gasoline, quality time with my wife and daughter, and the seemingly eternal maintenance that comes from being a home-owner.  While I watched the gaming group fall apart from afar, I thought about finding a new group, or at least forming a new group closer to home.

So what is a solitary RPG gamer to do?  Well some of the tools I am aware of include local gaming forums, publisher forums, MeetUp, ENWorld’s locater, RPG Life’s locator, and of course my FLGS (Friendly Local Gaming Store for the uninitiated).  So I could probably find people…

But the question is will these strangers be up to snuff?  Can they be an adequate replacement to my current (previous?) group?  The answer to latter question is obvious, no.  There is no way in hell a group can replace another group.  Every group brings different perspectives, experience, and baggage with them to the table, so the experience is going to be different.  The real question is am I willing to try different?

You see the problem is that I am often perceived as being an asshole.  I tend to be blunt and I am direct.  So if I do not like something, I say so, to your face.  I am not usually cruel about it (though I can be), I’m just honest.  I expect the same thing from others.  You don’t like something I’m doing?  Let me know and perhaps I will modify my behavior (except for being blunt, if you do not like that, tough shit).  So if being honest, direct, and skipping all the politically correctness is being an asshole, then guilty as charged.

I am also accused of having high expectations that are too high (an elitist?).  Indeed, as I grow older I continue to raise the bar (for myself as well as what I expect from others).  Is this bad?  Perhaps it is why I am often disappointed.

So back to the question, am I willing to try different?  I’m willing to try different gaming systems, different styles of play, but I don’t know about different personalities at the table.  The next question is if I am willing to sit with new people at the gaming table, are they going to be able to handle me?  I’ve never been banned from a gaming group, unless MUDs count (if so, then once).

My need to game will eventually win out over my unwillingness to try different.  So if my gaming group implodes, or the cost involved is too much to travel to game with them, then I need to modify my perception of people and learn to ignore things that usually irritate me.  Something that is easier said than done.

Well that is my current dilemma and my thoughts on the subject.  I also comprised a few questions that would help find the right group if or when I begin searching.

How well should I know the members of the group?

I think I need to know the preferred style of play of the group (role vs. roll, fantasy vs. sci-fi, more social vs. more serious).  Knowing what refreshments, if any, are usually found on the gaming table is good.  I would also like to know what pet peeves the group possesses (and if they commit any of mine).  Also, are there any topics that members become easily offended or upset over (religion, politics, starving African children)?

How long does it take to get the full impression of a gaming group?

Speaking from experience, you’ll never truly know someone until you have spent years together and experienced high stress situations together.  I’m not talking about interpersonal drama bullshit.  I am talking about when people have to make choices that put their comrades’ lives at stake.  But in order to learn most of the details discussed above, I think about three to four gaming sessions would give a complete picture.

What gaming systems does the group utilize?

This is important, because I may not really be into Rifts.  If the group uses a system which has third party publishers, what content is allowed?  Do they limit it to just the core books?

What is their experience level?

I am not speaking about their character levels, though that is also nice to know.  I am talking about how well they understand their chosen system(s).  How long have they used the system(s)?  Have they ever tried different systems and which ones?

What house rules do they use?

Do they ignore or limit certain mechanics?  Have they modified the system or created completely new mechanics?  Do they substitute d12s for d4s (because dodecahedrons need lovin’ too)?

Where do they play and what are the expectations?

Does the group play in Mike’s basement, Bruce’s attic, or Will’s van?   Do I take my shoes off at the door?  Food and drinks are allowed where?  No cursing because of the children.  Is smoking banned or will I be sitting in a cloud of cancer?

I am sure I will think of ten more questions I would need to answer to be able to decide on the group.  The main thing is can I like these guys and gals?  I refuse to play with someone I do not like.  I figure if I posted an ad at the FLGS, it would look something like this:

Fat Asshole in Need of Gaming Group

MUST BE:

• Be local
• Non smokers (or at least outside-smokers)
• Clean
• Interesting
• Social
• Open to new systems
• Possessing senses of humor
• FUN

DON’T BE:

• Covered in pet hair, urine, etc.
• Dumb
• Religious Zealots
• D&D players w/o a battlemap
• Creepy
• Stinky
• Drug Addicts
• Extreme (as in gaming style)

Listening to: Probot - Probot – Shake Your Blood

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Here are some more songs dedicated to the great Elder Evil, Cthulhu!  You can find more at the Cthulhu Hymnal!

Give Me That Old Time Religion

We’ll bow down to Great Cthulu
He’s cold, and mean, and cruel, too
He doesn’t want to rule you
He just wants your soul

To the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song

We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy,
You humans are delishy and we’re feasting on your brains!

We’re abysmal creatures, with gross horrific features -
Against Cthulhoid cult preachers the good guys go insane!

So here’s Miskatonic U where all the creatures dwell.
Take a look at a mythos book and find yourself in hell!

Your guns aren’t defective – they just aren’tective.
Our feast of human flesh and souls is tasting swell!

Your magic and voodoo will not stop great Cthulhu;
Don’t eat with the Tchoo Tchoo; the Migo steal your brain!

Here’s Narly, Tsathoggua, and over there’s Cthuga.
Don’t forget Ithaqqua, and Hastur hates his name!

So here’s dread R’lyeh where the angles a wrong.
You’ll lose your soul and go insane if you stay here too long!

We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy.
Our feast of human flesh and souls is gonna start!

And now we’ll eat your heart.

Mi-Go

To the tune of “Mammal” by They Might be Giants (used w/o permission, of course…) lyrics by Bill Keyes.

Chitin shell,
Standing in between extinction in the cold
And explosive radiating growth.
So the ichor flows
Through the large membrainous wings.
Carrying the very strange brain-cylinders that they have.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go (Mi-Go, Mi-Go)
Their nlaw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.

One of us might lose his mind,
When he’s reminded that they once were here,
From the Mezozoic era, to the cold high Himalayas.
So the ichor flows
Through the large membrainous wings.
Speaking in the very strange high pitched insect buzzing noise.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go
Their names are called,claw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.

Azothoth the father of its sister Shub-Niggurath.
Their cousin called Yog-Sothoth,
Sleeping uncle Great Cthulhu.

Mi-Go, Mi-Go
Their names are called,
They raise a claw.
The wings, the things,
Ugly and mean,
Fungoid and green.
The Ghast, the ghoul,
Deep One, and Dhole,
Byakhee, Elder Thing.

LIKE AZATHOTH

To the tune of “like a virgin”.

I made it through the Hounds
Somehow I made it through
Way out from Tindalos
Until the Act was one

I was lost, and alone
I was deaf, neither could I see
And it made me grow
Yes it made me grow
Exponentially

CHORUS:
Like Azathoth
Here since the very First Time
Like Azathoth
Overboiling, dumb and blind

Gonna crush all
From the Universe’s center
A Nuclear Chaos broadcast

You’re so fine, and you’re mine
Since the Beginning of the Time
Oh, your organs sprout out
Yes, your organs sprout out
‘Cause my gravity’s so high

CHORUS

You’re so fine, and you’re mine
I am the Sultan of Demons
And you make me feel
Yeah you make me feel
Nothing at all

CHORUS

Like Azathoth, ooh, ooh
Like Azathoth
Feels so good inside
When they’re piping, and they’re yelling, and we’re shaking

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
Can’t you feel my mass pulse
Since the very First Time

To the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies

Well, let me tell you a little story ’bout a migo named ‘Fred’.
A poor mountain miner, barely kept his fungi fed.
And then one day when he was scooping out a brain…
Along came an ooze that popped right out of the drain.
Shoggoth that is, Elder Thing goo, R’lyeh tea.
Well next thing you know ‘ole Fred got swallowed whole,
the other migo turned and said “That thing just got Fred’s soul!”
They all pulled out their shiny guns and aimed it at the slime..
But the shoggoth ate them one and all in record setting time..

Sung to the tune of Camptown Races
Who’s the Elder God we fear?
Cthulhu, Cthulhu!
Who sleeps on from year to year?
Cthulhu is his name.
Going to pray all night
Going to chant all day
‘Til he rises from the ocean floor
Then we will run away!

To the tune of “Octopus’ Garden” (The Beatles)

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
H know where we’d been
in his big Cthulhu garden in a cave.
I’d hate my friends to come and see big ol’
Cthulhu’s garden with me.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
He’d keep us whole, just eat our soul
in his monstrous hideaway beneath the waves.
Keeping us loose, hanged in a noose
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
We would scream and shout out loud,
’cause we know we’ll never be found.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden in a cave.
We would shout and flounder about
the tentacles beneath the ocean waves.
Oh what fear for every little dear,
knowing their minds are gone away.
We would be there to tell us what to do.

I’d hate to play under R’leyh
in big Cthulhu’s garden with you.

To the tune of “Cecilia” (Simon & Garfunkel)

CHORUS:
Cthulhu, you’re breaking my mind.
My sanity’s vanishing daily!
Oh, Cthulhu, I’m down on my knees
I’m begging you, please — go away,
Go away!

I picked up this ancient book
By some guy named Abdul Al-Haz’red (Al-Haz’red)
Read two chapters; now it seems
You’re disturbing my days and you’re haunting my dreams.

CHORUS

Half-awake in the early morn
With my lover sleeping by my side (by my side)
When I feel a nameless dread
And I turn on the light, I find g out in the afternoon
In a room at Miskatonic U (hiding out)
Elder Signs from ceiling to floor,
And there’s star-stones to block off the windows and door.

Consternation! He’s found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver.
Consternation! He’s found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver…..

Kevin Ingle – Anything I say will be denied.
Learn the chants.

Don’t Go That Way

To the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart” (Billy Ray Cyrus)

It started with a look
In an old and dusty book
Of things we were not really meant to know.
And now I’m running scared
From dread beyond compare
And an invite for being dinner at Tcho Tcho’s!

This house is awf’ly dark
Let’s go back up to the park
But perhaps that isn’t such a good path
The last time I was there,
Do you remember Blair?
He was carried off by Shub-Niggurath!

CHORUS:
Don’t go that way,
I’d rather have you stay
With me in this terrifying dream
But if you go that way
I’ll go the other way
And listen for your distant awful screams, aaaaauugh!

Off tin’ with Voodoo
But I don’t like the sound of that grim song.
Don’t pull out your big gun
I’d really rather run
From people calling evil Chaugnar Faugn.

And now they’re playin’ games
Like ping pong with my brains
Please believe me it’s the truth I’m telling you!
For deep beneath the sea,
In slime and sawing “zees”
Is a huge and ugly Great Cthulhu.

CHORUS:
Don’t go that way
I’d rather have you stay
With me in this terrifying dream
Bgo the other way
And listen for your distant awful screams, aaaaaaugh!

Don’t go that way
How much should I pay
For you not to go down that deep hole
‘Cause I don’t have a rope
And there isn’t that much hope
If you wind up annoying a big dhole, eeeeeeeww!

Don’t go that way
You really ought to stay,
Your safer here of that fact I am sure
But if we decide to stay,
Be careful not to say
The name of the unnamed one called Hastur…

oops.

Your Grey-Tinted ’20s Mind

To the tune of “Green-Tinted ’60s Mind” from Mr. Big’s second album.

It just woke up but its still dead,
Is that the cultists still chanting?
It rips off all of their heads,
Its reachin’ into your dreams,
Down in your heart,
If you say his name,
He’ll tear you all apart.

CHORUS 1:
Professors are screwy
In a 20′s movie
Read the wrong book and die,
Insane legend baby
Try your very best to hide,
Your grey-tinted 20′s mind.

They keep Cthulhu locked away,
But he is always escaping,
But that won’t make him fade away,
He’s reaching into your dreams,
Down in your heart,
If you see him,
It’ll tear your mind apart,

CHORUS 2:
Gotta face R’lyeh,
There is no other way (to),
Get the thoughts out of your mind,
Fill it up with screams,
That’s all that you could seem,
To find….
Your grey-tinted 20′s mind,

(solo)

CHORUS 3:
Hangin’ out with Pickman,
Drawin’ scary stickmen,
Could have escaped if you tried,
Where’s your `loyal’ horse?
Sacrificed of course,
Tonight!
Your grey-tinted 20′s mind.

Listening to: Nine Inch Nails - Broken – Last

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Most of these converted carols appear in the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society Solstice Carol Songbook which you can find along with actual albums at CthulhuLives.  I found them sitting on the backwaters of Duke University a very long time ago and I was surprised to still see them surviving there, no doubt driving the servers insane.

The Carol of the Old Ones

Lyrics by A.H. Leman to the tune of Carol of the Bells by M. Leontovich.

Look to the sky way up on high
There in the nigh stars now are right
Eons have passed now then at last
Whence They were penned They will descend

They will retun mankind will learn
New kinds of fear once They are here
As They reclaim all in Their name
Watch only can powerless man

Ignorant fools mankind now rules
Where They ruled then it’s Theirs again
Madness will reign terror and pain
Woes without ry scary scary scary Solstice
Very very very scary Solstice

Up from the sea from underground
Down from the sky They’re all around
They will retun mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when They are here

They will return

(followed by a glorious arrangement of four part harmonies.)

Rudolph the Red Nosed Cultist

Rudolph the Red Nosed Cultist
had a few insanities
and if you ever saw him
he’ll be chanting with great glee
Cthulhu fthagn Ia – aa
He is sleeping ‘neath the foam
as he stared out the window
through the bars where he made his home
Then one foggy moon streaked eve
Cthulhu came to say
Rudolph with your mind so brave
won’t you be my eternal slave
then all the other cultists
join Rudolph the mighty high priest
has joined Cthulhu in his lair.

Over the River and through the Woods

Over the River and through the Woods
To the Plateau of Leng we go
We hope that someday
we can finally say
that we saw the god on the slooo ope

Over the River and through the Woods
To Kadath so cold we go
Nightgaunts pull the sleigh
to hurry their way
past the Shantaks O, we hooo ope

Over the River and through the Woods
I fear that we’ve gone too far
the Gods don’t condone
a mortal at home
farewell those who listened this far……

O Come All Ye Deep Ones

Lyrics by A.H. Leman to the tune of “O Come All Ye Faithful” by John Reading.

O come all ye Deep Ones,
Mi-Go, Ghouls and Nightgaunhts;
Come foul Shub Niggurath and all Ancient Ones.
Come Great Cthulhom the ocean.

CHORUS
O come, let us abhor them,
O come, let us abhor them,
O come, let us abhor them,
Scream, run and hide.

Their old dominion
Mankind now rules blithely,
Stars turning overhead to bring forth his doom.
They will return here, greedy and malevolent.
CHORUS

Great Old Ones Are Coming to Town

You’d better watch out; you better go hide.
And Elder Sign’s needed for this Yuletide
Great Old Ones are comin to town.nd shaking it twice.
They’re going to hit you, naughty or nice.
Great Old Ones are coming to town.

They’re bringing ugly Shuggoths,
And horrid Deep Ones too,
Shub Niggurath is waking up
And so is Cthulhu

So you better watch out, you’d better go ‘way,
Before the big guy comes up from R’lyeh.
Great Old Ones are coming to town.

God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones

God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones
God rest ye scary great old ones;
Let everything dismay.
Remember Great Cthulhu shall rise up from R’lyeh
To kill us all with tentacles
If we should go his way.

CHORUS
O tidings of madness and woe, madness and woe
O tidings of madness and woe!

In Yuggoth an din Aldebraan
The Great Old Ones were spawned
Imprisoned by the Elder Gods to wait for eons,
Enticing humans to release them,
CHORUS
An arab said: “That is not dead
Which can eternal lie,
And with Strange Eons even death may die.”
The Great Old Ones will rule once more
And all will be destroyed.
CHORUS

The Solstice Song

Victims roasting on an open fire,
Deep Ones ripping off your nose,
Mindless chanting ’round the funeral pyre
And folks strung up by their toes.
Ev’rybody knows how festive open wounds can be;
You’ll go crazy at the sight.
Tiny tots with their eyeballs aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know Cthulhu’s on his way;
The beast is rising from the depths of dark R’lyeh.
And ev’ry mother’s child is gonna cry
And beg for mercy and pray quickly to die.
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety two;
Although its been said many times, many ways,
“Barra na zu absu.”

H.P. the Writer

To the tune of Frosty the Snowman

H.P. the Writer
Wasn’t happy so we’re told
With his horrid health
and his lack of wealth
he wrote tales to make blood cold

H.P. the Writer
Got an idea in his head
We weren’t meant to know
of the things below
He would make up more instead

There must have been a reason
for the strange names that he chose
When you first read of Cthulhu
You couldn’t pronounce it, we all know

H.P. the Writer
Shuffled off this mortal coil
Now in Providence
he’s behind a fence,
buried underneath the soil

Azathoth

To the tune of Jingle Bells

Azathoth
Azathoth
Azathoth, the King
Center of the Universe,
Insanity he brings, Hey!

Azathoth
Azathoth
Azathoth, the King
Center of the Universe
Insanity he brings

Writhing round the place
Insane pipers pipe
Takes up lots of space
The stars are getting ripe

R’Lyeh soon may rise
Nyarlathotep plots
Earth will be the prize
We’ll all lose our spots, Ohhh

Azathoth
Azathoth
Azathoth, the King
Center of the Universe
IN – SANITY HEEEE BRIIIIIIIINGS!!!!!!!!!

Hark! the Nameless Cultists Sing

By James Westbrooks. To the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”:

Hark! the nameless cultists sing, “Glory to our dreaming King,
Deep beneath the ocean waves, dreaming in his wat’ry grave.
Soon the stars will all be right, usher in eternal night!
When Cthulhu comes to reign, things here ’bouts won’t be the same!”
Hark! the namesless cultists sing, “Glory to our dreaming King!”

Cthulhu whose name strikes fear, speaks to those whose souls can hear:
Late at night an artist dreams, wakes up with an awful scream.
Then in clay his visions mold, pretty outre so I’m told.
Visions of a scene from Hell, near impossible to sell.
Hark! the nameless cultists sing, “Glory to our dreaming King!”

Hark! the Great One’s Priestly Son, Hail or you will be undone.
Death and pain to most he brings, Ris’n with darkness in His wings.
Waked at last no more to lie, proof that death itself may die,
Born to crush the human race, wipe them out and leave no trace.
Hark! the nameless cultists sing, “Glory to our dreaming King!”

A Lovecraft Christmas

by Paul M. Lemieux, copyright 1989. To the tune of “’Twas the Night Before Christmas”:

Twas the night before Yuletide and all through the hole
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Dhole
Aldebaren hung at the right place at nine
In the hopes that Great Cthulhu would come out this time

The Fungi from Yuggoth, all snug in their caves
Were plotting to turn all the people to slaves
The Deep Ones in Rlyeh, the Ghouls in their graves
Were dancing and singing and acting depraved

When what do my wondering eyes should appear
But a mouldering sleigh and eight corpselike reindeer
With a horrible driver so leprous and reeking
I knew right away that my fear was unspeaking

The reindeer were gross, as they flew up from hell
And It hoarsely whispered and chanted a spell
Ia Shub Niggurath! Cthulhu ftagn!
Nyarlathotep! I summon you on!

As decomposed flesh before the charnel stench rise
And meet with the open air polluting the skies
Up to the housetop the horror it rose
And the gangrenous odors assailed my nose

And then in a slopping noise heard on the roof
The lumbering clomping of octopoid hoofs
As I drew in my head and was turning around
The horror lurched into my room with a bound

Its eyes how they pulsate
So bulbous and gory
This blasphemous creature
So noxious and hoary

I was frozen by fear, my feet woudn’t run
I threw up my cookies, this wasn’t much fun
It whispered my name and said “You come with I”
I tried to refuse and it said “Then you die.”

It came at my throat with its grim claws extended
But a miracle saved its victim intended
I had three Elder Signs in a slot in the floor
It screamed with a fiendish sound and went out the door

It sprang to its sleigh, and its team gave a surge
And away they all flew to the sound of a dirge
I heard it exclaim as it flew out of sight
“You’re lucky this time, for the stars weren’t right.”

I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog-Shothoth

Listening to: Cradle of Filth - Midian – Cthulhu Dawn

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This month’s RPG Blog Carnival is being hosted by the Dice Bag.  Usually, religion is a subject I do not breach in public forum, at work, or with the in-laws (by and large they are Latter Day Saints).  However, within the context of roleplaying games and science-fiction literature, I do love to read about, tinker with, and discuss the myriad pantheons available to use in a game.

I find that many gamers respond to alterations to the deities and dogma of their favorite campaign setting in much the same way as fundamental practitioners of any religion respond to dissimilar viewpoints on god(s).  They balk, argue, and throw tantrums.  Another reason I like creating my own “homebrew” settings; no one has any grounds to disagree with what you’ve done.

Pantheon Creation

When I create pantheons for my worlds, I like to grab a few sheets of paper and begin “mapping” out the various levels and interactions of the pantheons/gods with a kind of flow chart.  If I do it at the PC, I will usually open up FreeMind, which I reviewed here.  I will then create nodes, which represent either entire pantheons or individual gods depending on which “level” I am working on.  When creating a pantheon(s) for your game, there are a few things you should consider:

• Influences: Are you using existing sources?
• Breadth: How many gods occupy a layer?
• Depth: How many layers exist in the pantheon?
• Portfolios: What, if anything specific, does each god govern?
• Personalities: Define the gods’ personalities.
• Alliances: Are there one or more aligned groups?
• Church Structure:  How are their churches organized?
• Worshipers: Who are the general members of each god’s church?

Influences

When designing pantheons for your world, the very first thing you need to decide is whether or not you are going to use an existing set or sets of deities either completely stock or as a foundation.  You could look to real world mythologies [Egyptian, Greek, Scandinavian, Native American, Oriental, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity] or fiction-based resources [books, movies, video games, other campaign settings].

You can take each pantheon wholesale, include more than one (or all), or even mix and match deities.  If you decide to mix and match, I highly recommend that you at least rename the majority of deities, as it could cause confusion among the players with even a nominal amount of recollection.

Another approach with using influences is to lift the structure and hierarchy of a pantheon.  You could take the monotheistic approach of Islam, or perhaps a henotheistic approach where there are many gods, but only one is supreme.

As a rule, I almost never lift an existing pantheon for use in my game, unless it is on purpose (such as a game set on Earth).  I try to mix it so that players may see the influence, but there is no mistaking that it is not the same.

Breadth & Depth

If you are borrowing from existing sources, this step in the process may already be decided.  Now you need to decide how many different pantheons exist, and if there are any that may be subordinate to another.  You can apply this step multiple times to each “node” you place on the pantheon map.

For example, let us say that in my new world, I have a pantheon for each major race.  Long ago, the gods of the lizardmen were triumphant in their conquest of a quasi-elemental plane and subjugated the powerful entities there, which are deific in their power.  So now there is a sub-pantheon of quasi-elemental entities that are both servants and messengers for the gods of the lizardmen as well as being venerated somewhat like saints or totem spirits by the lizardmen themselves.  I could even take this a step further by saying that the chieftains are believed to be the children of the gods and are themselves venerated as deities.

I could then go into each level I just created and continue applying breadth and depth.  The quasi-elementals could have three tiers of power, consisting of princes, dukes, and lords.  Each prince rules over an aspect, such as swamp gas.  I then create as many aspects as I need.

Rinse and repeat as necessary.

Portfolios

This is not necessarily a separate step, but something to keep in mind as you are creating the various pantheons and deities.  Does an entire pantheon, a group of gods, or a single deity hold dominion over a concept, such as love or death?  Is there even the concept of portfolios for your gods?

Personalities

A god’s personality is usually defined by their portfolios, but do not be afraid to break the mold with this one.  What is the story behind a god of war that is a coward and weakling?  Many gods of wine and drink are frivolous beings who constantly party with decadence, how about a sad, mournful god that drowns his sorrows in alcohol?

It can be a daunting task to define the personalities of an entire pantheon, or pantheons, of gods, but I find this to be the most fulfilling part of the exercise.  I find that once I have laid the foundation of the pantheon with the last few steps, this process just seems to flow.  I also begin to look forward to the next step when creating personalities, seeing how these gods would co-exist with each other.

Alliances

Deific alliances are wonderful sources for plot hooks, as the gods use the players as pawns in their immortal power plays.  Alliances can occur between just two gods or may span entire pantheons.  Maybe the pantheons of all the monstrous humanoids have joined forces to protect themselves from the onslaught of men and their gods.  Maybe the god of lust has seduced the goddess of death, and uses her influence for his own agenda.  The possibilities for story ideas are endless.  Along with alliances, be sure to note enemies.

Churches & Worshipers

Not every deity may have an organized church, but the major players will.  When thinking about church structure, look to real word or fictional examples.  The catholic church is always a fun one to pull from.  It is also important to consider the god’s portfolio and personality.  The church of a god of war might be structured like the military.  Just take care when using cliche structures (like the god of war).

Titles given to the priesthood will also likely reflect the portfolio of their god.  The monks of the God of Beer may have the titles of Masher, Lauterer, Boiler, Worter, and Brewmaster.  The clerics of the goddess of knowledge may have the titles of Adjunct, Lecturer, Professor, and Dean.

It may be important to note the worshippers of a given deity.  Worshippers may be defined by class (poor, merchant, noble), race (human, vampire, dragon), profession (assassin, cobbler, sorcerer), lifestyle (hedonists, ascetic, masochism), or anything else that comes to mind.

It may also be useful to define any symbols associated with the deity, how worshipers conduct service, and if the church/worship is allowed by law.  Does the church have holy writ?  Are there rules for behavior?  Are the worshipers tolerant of other beliefs?

The Shepherds

This is a tribute to the Crs’Tchen Debacle of Dragon Magazine (retold by The Core Mechanic).  Insert this faith into your campaign world if you need a corrupt religious organization full of plot hooks for adventures of political intrigue, betrayal, and misguided crusades.

The Shepherds are the worshipers of the True Creator, Genovah, and believe him to be the only true god.  All other gods are false gods: demons, devils, and pretenders.  Though the Shepherd religion has been around for nearly a millennium, it is considered an upstart by many of the other religions that can trace their heritage back to the days before words, when men communicated with simple drawings on stone.  In that relatively short time frame, the Shepherds have become the most popular faith in the land.

However, within the last century, the Temple of Genovah has experienced some growing pains.  The faith was fractured in the Grand Rift, when a growing number of priests had become disillusioned with the corrupt operations of the Temple.  These priests, commonly referred to as the Objectors or Dissenters, left the original Temple, now known as Orthodox Temple, and began teaching their own sermons.  The Objectors now make up half of the faithful.

Today there are hundreds of sects of Shepherds, each preaching their own brand of the faith.  It is a wonder they can all call themselves Shepherds as the only thing they truly agree on is that Genovah is the only god to worship (though a few sects do recognize other gods, they just believe Genovah is supreme), and he sent his Harbinger and Prophet, Susej, to the lands of mortals to be sacrificed for their sins.  Everything else is up for debate, or more than likely, war.

The Shepherd sects are in a constant struggle between themselves, attempting to prove that their version of the faith is the correct path to worship Genovah.  However, the various sects set aside their differences all too quickly when confronted with the followers of a different god.  Temple officials have concocted numerous lies and blamed plague, famine, and moral erosion on many other religions to incite intolerance, persecution, and outright war on those who would not convert.

The annals of history are stained by the innocent blood that has been shed in the name of Genovah.  In fact, today many are afraid to practice their chosen religion in the open out of fear of being burned at the stake simply for being different.

Shepherds can easily be identified by the implement of torture and death they use as the symbol of their faith.  Most wear a golden miniature of the contraption suspended by a chain about their necks and adorn their churches, homes, and businesses with this tool of execution, a crucifix, often with an image of the Harbinger, Susej, frozen in death upon it.

In the past, the image would have invoked disgust and horror, but now the icon is so commonplace that most people have become desensitized to the ghastly image of tortuous death.  To display such a horrible image so casually is truly appalling.

The vilest aspect of the Shepherds is the secret of its creation and the lies used to control millions of followers.  For while most of the faith are good people that have good intentions, the authority of the faith has led their flock astray, and direct their parishioners to line their coffers with gold and commit foul atrocities in the name of good.

For you see, the entire foundation of the Shepherd faith was built on lies, commandeered practices, and forced worship.  The faith was engineered to attract followers, feeding them lies of salvation and paradise in an afterlife.  It incorporated the rites, rituals, and personalities of older religions to appeal to the converted, and make them comfortable.  It has duped its followers in tithing the majority of their wealth to ensure salvation.  Most of all, it has allowed the Temple authorities to control the masses and further their own political agendas of power.

The Shepherds are a powerful force in the world, but what would happen should the truth be revealed?  Would the faithful turn a blind eye, happy to continue worshipping a lie?  Or would it spell the end of this intolerant religion?  We may never know, for the keepers of these secrets are willing to keep them secret at all costs…

Listening to: Velvet Revolver - Contraband – Fall to Pieces

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